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| I feel.... okay right now. But sad at the same time. I just want to forget him. To just let it go. I feel that I can, I really can. I don't think we are that compatible anyway. It just doesn't flow. I just need to put it behind me. period.
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| My xanga is talking to you? haha. Well, things do happen for a reason. Have you got something on your conscience?
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| Tell me why she says stuff about gerry all the time on xanga? coincidence? OR maybe she's trying to make me jealous. But why does she have to make me jealous for? What a freaken bitch. She knows I like him. Even if I said, "I kinda like him, but not really." I'm pretty sure she could tell that I liked him. And not just a little bit, not really. AND. Tell me why she started liking him after I asked him to prom. TELL ME! Why is she such a bitch?
Is it just me? Or is everything I'm saying true? Gerry should be freaken thanking me. I bet if I didn't ask him to prom, and I didn't seem like I liked him, she would NOT like him back.
BTW...I hate the game DIPLOMACY. I hate competition. I dunno why I decided to play. I hate how everybody gets mean, and I don't know how to negotiate either. Well whatever, I have nothing to lose, so I'm just gonna beat them to a pulp. Stupid kids. Except for Andrea though. We have an unbreakable alliance. I just hope she doesn't break it... hhaha... but she won't
I finally finished my catapult today!! yay! It took so long to get it right. The hackysack just kept plopping to the ground and rolling! ick! Then it broke ): But then we realized that it was because the cup wasn't wide enough. *whew* Let's hope all goes well tomorrow.
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| Now on a more private note, I feel really... icky because of that thing where I like someone who is in love with my best friend.
I put up a prom picture of us and I really wanted like a comment that goes like, "OMG...you guys are sooo cutee." However, I was not that fortunate. And I also really want to take that picture down. But I can't, cause I already put it up. If I take it down, It'll just add on to the ... weird awkwardness. so I'm stuck with it. whoopeee.
He looks less cute now. At prom, he looked very handsome and grown up. But now, he looks like a little geek boy. Sort of. Not that cute anymore. I guess it shouldn't be only about looks and stuff though. However, I haven't talked to him in awhile, which may be doing me some good. Except that I have this like, anxious, unresolved feeling most of the time. Oh well. What can you do when you're too nervous to talk to him in person. And he's never online because he's "tired" but really means he's talkign to you-know-who on the phone. It's really quite depressing.
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| I feel really... blechhh right now. Actually I've been feeling that way for the past week now. It's partly PMS-ing and partly ... thee other thing...
My mom went scary on me today. She started talking how she doesn't know what she's living for and how nobody talks to her and stuff. That was after I blew up in her face when I was telling her something. She started lecturing me when I just wanted to talk to her. sheesh. Then I kind of said, "uggghh.. I'm not telling you anything anymore." I guess it got to her. I feel bad though.
I also didn't know how to handle it. I just can't deal with emo-kids. (Though technically, she isn't a kid.) I mean, I was already emo myself, I didn't need something more.
I really wanted to cry. And I did. boohoo. Instead of trying to make it better, I took the coward's way out. I ran to my room and cried. I need to work on that. There's always going to be someone who needs you to cheer them up.
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